Dear Abby: I have been in a long-distance relationship with “Victor” for several years. Recently I began to suspect he was cheating. What raised my suspicion was that I suddenly couldn’t reach him on the weekends. Usually we would Skype — Sunday night for me, Monday morning for him.
Last February when I visited him, I snooped in his phone — spare me the condemnation. I found an email he had written to an old girlfriend in which he suggested they plan their “next” rendezvous.
I plan on dumping him, but I don’t know how to go about it. I’ve always been bad at dumping people. Should I write him a letter and confess that I snooped? My first inclination is to disconnect completely and say nothing.
I’m afraid to confront him because he is obviously a good liar. I’m afraid if I do, he’ll make me doubt the evidence … trust me, he’s that good!
Dear Cheated On: Why any woman would stay with someone who is a practiced liar (“that good”) is beyond me. My advice is to disconnect from him and say nothing. It should be interesting to see how long it takes him to notice your absence.
When he does — which probably won’t be on a weekend — tell him the romance is over and reference the email he sent his former girlfriend. Expect him to go on the offensive and try to make you feel guilty for having checked his cellphone. Don’t buy it, and don’t relent. Just be glad you found out now.
Dear Abby: I don’t know if you have addressed the issue of women and breast augmentation from the standpoint of noticing the work done, but I am trying to find a way to say “I noticed” without being crude or tacky.
My wife works with a woman who recently had augmentation surgery, and we agree that the doctor did a very nice job. According to my wife, the woman is not shy about discussing her surgery. I have known her for years, and we’re on friendly terms. We talk often and exchange hugs.
How would I go about complimenting her on her new look? I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Or should I just say nothing?
Enjoys the View
Dear Enjoys the View: All you need to say is, “You look GREAT!” and she’ll get the message. Trust me.
Dear Abby: Every time I talk to anyone, my husband says I give too many details. While I understand that men are different from women, he often bugs me when I talk to female friends or my mother-in-law. I don’t know what to do, because we women love to talk and share details. Please reassure me that I’m not an oddity.
Talkin’ Up a Storm
Dear Talkin’ Up a Storm: You’re not an oddity, and your husband should not be eavesdropping on your conversations. He should be glad that you and his mother get along so well that you both enjoy sharing details, because it’s a sign of a healthy relationship. However, because he can’t resist “bugging” you, converse with your friends and his mother when you’re out of earshot.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.