Dear Abby: I’m a 14-year-old girl with a problem. Because of my buzzed short hair, slim hips and flat chest, I frequently get mistaken for a boy. It really bothers me because, despite my haircut and body shape, I have a feminine face and I wear women’s clothes and makeup. I’m not too much of a tomboy.
Sometimes when someone addresses me with a male pronoun or in some other way mistakes me for a male, I’m too nervous to correct them. Is there a clever or witty way to correct the mistake?
Not a Boy
In Brooklyn, N.Y.
Dear Not a Boy: The person who made the mistake is the one who should be embarrassed, not you. If it happens again, all you need to do is smile and say, “I’m all girl.”
Dear Abby: I have been dating a woman, and I am considering proposing to her. We have discussed engagement rings and she wants to design her own, which I think is great. However, I am unsure exactly what to do regarding the actual proposal. What ring should I give her, knowing that whatever I give her will not be her ultimate engagement ring?
Soon to Pop the Question
Dear Soon to Pop: Marriage proposals happen in many situations and in many ways. There are no rules, and dropping to one knee and offering a ring is optional. The engagement does not begin when a woman starts wearing a ring; it begins when she accepts the proposal. All you need to do is say, “Will you marry me?” When she says yes, you can then decide when you both would like to select a stone for her engagement ring.
Dear Abby: A longtime friend asked me to be executor of her estate a few years ago, and I agreed. As time has passed, the details of the estate have changed several times. After the recent death of her husband, she again changed the beneficiaries and is now leaving almost half a million dollars to two animal shelters.
It’s her money to do with as she chooses, and I don’t judge her. I do, however, have a problem executing an estate that gives that much money to animal care when it could help so many people. I don’t fault her for wanting to do it; I just don’t want to be part of it. I’m afraid asking her to find another executor would damage or end our friendship. Please tell me what to do.
Dear Dilemma: Let’s face it. You ARE judging the woman and you DO fault her for wanting to leave a fortune to four-footed needy creatures instead of bipeds. Because you are uncomfortable with her plan, you must tell her she needs to find another executor who is as committed to animal causes as she is. You’ll be doing her a favor.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.