Standard lines, what’s really on your mind?

How are you? Great! I’m so miserable you wouldn’t believe it.

How are you doing? Terrific. I’m busy, so go jump off a cliff.

How’s it going? Never better. Why did you call, I’m trying to sleep it off?

Drive safely! What a nice thing to say! I’m 80 years old and I’ve made it this far turkey.

Enjoy this beautiful weather! Yes the sun is out. Go suck an egg, I’m getting a heat stroke.

Enjoy your meal! Thank you so much! Can I tell you what I think of it after I’ve eaten Please!

Have a nice day! I’ll try! I think my dog and parakeet are predicting a huge earthquake or some sort of extinction level event.

Have a great day! OK thanks! Great days are reserved for Maui you nincompoop.

Have a wonderful day. Yep, I think I saw the sun. It’s been raining for 350 straight days…what planet are you from?

Bummer! I agree! You’re the biggest bum of all.

Hey! Hey! How long can we keep saying this hey thing to each other without saying one darned thing?

Enjoy. You too! Enjoy what exactly?

What’s the weather like where you are? Not bad how about you? The next time you rub it in when you’re in the Caribbean, I’m hiring a paver to make you cement shoes.

How are the grand kids? I think they’re all OK! My daughter never calls me, but when she does, she tells me the kids are all sick from day care. See you in two years dad, maybe!

Be good! Yep I sure will be! No problem! My bank account is so low; I can’t even go to Vegas to be bad.

Jerry Taylor