Dear Abby: Many years ago, I had an affair with a married man. We eventually married and have had a long, happy life together. It was love at first sight for me. Both of us had children with our former spouses.
Since no one knows about our affair, I’m wondering what I should do with our love letters and the poems we wrote to each other over those five years. Neither of us wants to hurt our children or grandchildren nor be remembered negatively after our deaths. It would certainly shock them all. However, there is much information in these letters that might give insight into why we both wanted divorces so we could marry. We are getting along in years, so please advise.
Wondering in Texas
Dear Wondering: I see nothing to be gained by sharing these letters and poems. You and your husband have had a long and happy union. Because nobody knows about the affair and no questions have been raised about your earlier marriages, I see nothing positive about disclosing that information after your death.
Dear Abby: We recently received an invitation to a party for our child’s fifth-grade graduation class. The host is charging $15 per adult and $10 per fifth-grade child (“children under 5 are free”). The invitation also states that spaces are limited and we need to book our attendance with a payment method in advance.
My husband and I think this is very tacky. In addition to that, we find it poor form that this is being billed as the “party of the year” with “limited seating” for our child’s class. What are we teaching our children these days? Is it a popularity contest? Is it that the kids from economically challenged homes are not welcome in our homes? What do you make of this?
Uneasy in Maryland
Dear Uneasy: I think the amount is excessive. What I make of it is that the entire class is being invited to celebrate the occasion, but the parents who are organizing the event have decided to turn it into a profit-making venture. If this doesn’t sit well with you, skip the party and plan to do something privately with your child.
Dear Abby: I work in a branch of a large company that puts out a candy dish for our customers. A woman from another building (different company not related to us) often cuts through our office to get to the main street and other businesses. When she comes through, she ransacks our candy dishes, looking for a couple of specific types of candy. It happens on a daily basis! We even gave her a “Christmas gift” hoping to satisfy her candy cravings. She brought the gift container back to us (empty) for next Christmas! How do we stop this behavior without being rude?
Sweet Tooth in the East
Dear Sweet Tooth: It is not rude to draw the line when someone crosses it. The next time the woman raids the candy dish, the person nearest to it should tell her plainly it is intended for customers only! As for that candy container she returned, toss it. Giving her a present for “stealing” was a mistake, so don’t perpetuate it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
