Dear Abby: A couple of months ago, I moved from my mother’s into an apartment with a friend I had rekindled a high school friendship with a few years back. The first month in, I noticed she had eaten a few of my freezer meals, so I confronted her about it. She started crying and told me she was waiting for a new debit card in the mail and had limited cash to get her through until the card arrived. I told her she should have said something, and I would have happily let her have some of my food, but for her not to ask was rude because I rely on those freezer meals for quick and easy lunches at work.
I finished the box of meals and bought a new one. It was a large box with six packages inside. I intentionally left it unopened to see if she would steal food from me again. Lo and behold, a month later, I went to open the box and saw she’d taken two of them.
How do I confront her a second time? She doesn’t have a car so she Ubers to work, which adds up, and she spends hundreds of dollars on her anime hobby. If I can’t trust her with small things like food and snacks, how am I supposed to trust her at all? We just signed a two-year lease, and I cannot sublet.
Hungry for Honesty
Dear Hungry: I am sorry to say this, but your roommate has proven she can’t be trusted. Are her problems financial or emotional? Cross your fingers and hope she can come up with the rent each month. If you can afford it, purchase a small refrigerator for your bedroom, install a strong padlock on the door and use it to secure ALL of your property until the lease expires. If your roommate asks why the lock and fridge are being installed, confront her again then.
Dear Abby: I am writing about the letter you published on April 3 from “Incredulous in Oklahoma.” She said her boyfriend falls into a deep sleep lasting three days every two or three weeks, during which time he turns abusive. Abby, his symptoms might be caused by a rare neurological disorder called Kleine-Levin Syndrome. Your readers can learn more about it by visiting the ninds.nih.gov website and selecting the Health Information tab to search for this disorder.
Mariam in Florida
Dear Mariam: Thank you for the input. Several other readers also mentioned this disorder might be a possible explanation for the boyfriend’s behavior. When I read her letter, I wasn’t sure whether he might be “on” something, having an allergic reaction to a medication or unwell. This is why I suggested he might need to be examined physically and neurologically by a medical professional.
Dear Abby: My husband did not have a close relationship with his parents. Now that they are both dead, he emulates them — wearing suspenders like his dad, drinking beer in the garage, having a TV in every room. His screen savers are of “Dad.” What’s the deal?
Perplexed Wife in Utah
Dear Wife: I think you should gently ask your husband that question. He may not realize that he is modeling his father’s behavior. It may be a safe way to maintain a connection to dear old Dad, or proof that a behavioral influence can travel from generation to generation, but don’t make a problem where there isn’t one.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
