Dear Abby: One of my best friends just got engaged and I’m invited to the wedding. My problem is, my ex-best friend is in the bridal party, and I don’t know how to act if I see her and have to talk to her. She terminated our friendship without giving me a reason. Not only that, she has been spreading lies about me to mutual friends, some of whom now refuse to talk to me.
I have no idea what I did or didn’t do. No one knows why she is spreading rumors, and I don’t want there to be drama at my friend’s wedding and bachelorette party. What can I do?
Unsure
In the West
Dear Unsure: If your former best friend is unwilling to explain why she ended the friendship and has been spreading false rumors, you can’t force her. Obviously, her malicious lies haven’t had any effect on the bride.
Go to the party and the wedding, mingle with those who haven’t chosen sides, be gracious and steer clear of the nasty bridesmaid, if you can. That way, if there is any drama at either function, you won’t be the person who created it, and the person who will look bad will be the troublemaker.
Dear Abby: Could you please explain why so many people blow their noses at the supper table? You would think older folks would know better, but it seems like they are the worst offenders. I see a lot of this in restaurants or the cafeteria. I not only consider it rude but also gross.
Why can’t people excuse themselves from the table and leave the room to do it? I generally go to the ladies room or, if I’m home, go into another room. My mother and brother do this — and it’s disgusting! What is your view on this? Maybe you could teach some of these folks some manners.
Grossed Out
In Florida
Dear Grossed Out: Please don’t think you are alone with your frustration because I’m asked this question a lot. I agree that listening to someone honk like a migrating goose is unpleasant. That’s why the rule of etiquette states that those who need to clear their heads excuse themselves from the table. If someone must perform this function at the table, it should be limited to tiny dabs with a tissue to prevent a drip.
Dear Abby: I am the mom of two sons, ages 13 and 14. When I took them for their annual physical last summer, their pediatrician said this would be the last year I would be in the room while he examined my sons.
I don’t understand why I should have to leave if my children are OK with my being there. My sons are comfortable with me, and I am an only parent. It seems to me that more and more rights are being taken away from parents. Am I out of line for feeling this way?
Exam Room Off-limits
Dear Off-limits: Yes, if you trust your sons’ doctor, which I hope you do. By ages 13 and 14, your sons are maturing into manhood. As their hormones and bodies change, they may have questions and concerns they would be more comfortable — and less embarrassed — talking to a male doctor about than their mother. Privacy in the examination room would give them the chance to do that.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
