By Mark Harvey
Is it too late to say “Happy New Year”?
That’s probably a little ridiculous. What’s wrong with wishing a happy year to anyone, anytime? Well, OK, maybe it’s not as “new” as it was a few weeks ago, but it’s still a bit premature to call it “used” … so, Happy Year!
It’s 2018! Who would’ve thought? And I’ll be how old this year? Hmm… Which means…?
Maybe it’s all a numbers game, huh? Well, we attach a lot of significance to 6 years old; actually, if you’re a new parent, you attach a lot of significance to every age — every week, every month. Is my little one within the statistical norm? We hope so; actually, we hope she or he is ahead of said norm, exceeding the average, right?
Who aspires to be “average”? We want to be ahead of it! Beyond it! Above it! We want to exceed the statistical norm!
And we sure pay attention to those numbers:
Age 6 — We know what that means.
Age 14 can be significant, depending upon what state you reside in.
Sweet 16 — We get that.
18 can mean a lot — and some responsibilities are beginning to increase.
21 — Ooohh, that’s a biggie!
Never trust anyone over 30!
40s — Wow, been around for a while, huh?
50s — Rarely said out loud, but we all know what we’re running up to:
60! — A “senior,” depending upon who you talk to.
65 — You’re in it now: Medicare, Social Security … retirement?
80s — Now, we’ve learned that we’re in the fast growing segment of the population! Aren’t we … proud?
Yes, we are! I’m not dead! Well, there are a lot of things that I’m probably “not” (or, at least, not anymore), but I’m not dead!
After that, every year, on some certain day, we celebrate: another year and still not dead! Wow! Congratulations!
And we just keep counting … and wishing we were behind the statistical norm.
The numbers told the tale, from Day One. The numbers set the expectations: You will be this or you will do that or you will act a certain way, or … not. The statistical norm. The pursuit of average.
And who, again, aspires to “average?” Almost none of us! But here we are — counting, keeping track, amassing milestones … or millstones.
Because, what if we broke the Law of Averages? What if we became “outlaws”?
I’ve known a number of folks through the years who were so riveted to a number that it dictated how they acted — and how they dressed and how they talked and what they did and how they did it. “Old before their time,” because they decided to act their age — at least, as they understood it.
I’ve also known a number of folks who never got that “act your age” memo. They just keep being who they are and doing what they do because the number doesn’t define them; life defines them.
They’re not stupid. They know you have to mess with Medicare and Social Security when you’re 65, so they mess with them; then, they go back to doing what they were doing.
And they’re not invincible: There are aches and pains and conditions and diagnoses and parts that don’t do all the things that they used to do — but, that’s just how it goes, so on they go.
“60 is the new 40,” we hear; so, what does that mean, exactly? At age 60, are we supposed to revert to our 40-esque behavior patterns? Having learned absolutely nothing, in the intervening years? Having gained absolutely no maturity and no wisdom and no experience?
No. It just means most of us aren’t going to die on yesterday’s actuarial schedule. That’s encouraging, right?
Sure! Unless you’re running on that schedule, living on that schedule — then, are you behind The Curve or beyond The Curve?
This is getting confusing! I think I’m losing track of where I am!
No, you’re not — because yes, you are. You’re losing track of where other people were, some other time. The trick is to be here now — doing what you’re doing, the way you’re doing it — then, to figure out that very same thing tomorrow, and the day after that and the day after that.
Because what if it’s not about how old you are? What if it’s about purpose? Whatever you define that purpose to be: the reason to do tomorrow — however great, however small, however magnificent or however personal that reason might be.
And that has nothing to do with “acting your age” or the Law of Averages; that has to do with grasping life (instead of being gripped by it), and saying: “This is my reason.”
This is my purpose.
This is me being a whole, entire human being.
In 2018.
Against all odds.
Mark Harvey is the director of information and assistance for the Olympic Area Agency on Aging. He can be reached by email at harvemb@dshs.wa.gov; by phone at 360-532-0520 in Aberdeen, 360-942-2177 in Raymond, or 360-642-3634; or through Facebook at Olympic Area Agency on Aging-Information & Assistance.
