Dear Abby: I had this friend that I met eight months ago at a local boxing gym here in Chicago. We got along extremely well and even hung out a couple of times. However, she left her job at the gym two months later and things started falling apart.
I started sending excessive messages on her social media, and she didn’t like it. By the following month, she had enough. She told me I have an unhealthy attachment to her and we would go our separate ways. She blocked me from all social media, and she hasn’t contacted me since.
Four months later, I am better, but she is still in my head. I really want to write her a nice and sincere letter and reconcile with her and have her be my friend again. I didn’t know that I was doing something wrong.
I have tried reaching out to her multiple times recently via email, to no avail. In the meantime, one of her friends told me she has moved to Texas, which makes it even more heartbreaking. How can I show her I can be her friend again without exhibiting those same “toxic” behaviors?
– Guy with a Wounded Heart
Dear Guy: You have already done enough. You have done so much, in fact, that the young woman felt she was being stalked. She has sent you clear signals that she’s not interested in being friends — or anything more — with you. For your own sake, take the hint, leave her alone and, please, learn from this experience so you won’t repeat it with someone else.
Dear Abby: I am 60, and my husband is 64. We lost everything in the recession. A dear friend helped us get back on our feet, and my son and husband built a home on land we purchased with our last dollar. We have a mortgage and all the bills that come with it. We have no savings, pension or life insurance. I work 40 hours a week, and my husband is partially disabled from an autoimmune disease.
My son, who is studying to become an RN, is 33. He lives with us and pays $550 a month, which pays the property taxes. He has slowly brought his girlfriend into our home, whom we like, but she does not contribute financially. I have asked my son for some extra money, and he refused. We will always appreciate how he pitched in and helped us in creating a new home. What can I do without starting a family war?
– Keeping the Peace
Dear Keeping: It would have been interesting to know what reason your son gave you for his refusal. Continue talking with him about it. Unless the girlfriend is unemployed, she should at least pay for her food and a share of the utilities if she is living in your home.
Dear Readers: This is National Women’s Health Week. Because of the current health crisis, taking care of your health is now more important than ever. Make it a priority. Eat healthy, give yourself the gift of exercise, manage your stress levels, get the sleep you need, and schedule that appointment to see your doctor or dentist as soon as they are seeing patients again. Take steps to eliminate behaviors that put you at risk — smoking, texting while driving and not wearing a seatbelt. Your health is your most precious possession, so please, take care of it. For more information, visit womenshealth.gov.
Love, Abby
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
