By Mark Harvey

I think most of us are familiar, directly or indirectly, with the phrase “For a good time, call…” But how about “For a bad time, call…”?

Yes, I am serious.

If you ask most of us who are old enough to have figured out that we’re probably not going to live forever what scares us the most, you’ll get a more-or-less predictable litany of responses: Alzheimer’s, the kids moving back in, Medicare Part D open enrollment, the sudden realization that she or he was right when they said, “I told you to go before we left.” But in there somewhere, you’re also probably going to hear something like “Being put in a nursing home.”

We probably mean any residential facility, but what comes out is “nursing home.” We see it as a sentence to the ninth level of Hell, for eternity — totally alone, forgotten, disposed of.

Now, the fact is that, statistically, most of us will never reside in a facility for more than a week or two for rehab. Another fact is that, mercifully, most of our facilities around here are really pretty good, most of the time! But that doesn’t matter, because we’re already scared and “facts” don’t always take fear away.

Of course, some of us do end up there, usually because there’s no other place we can be.

But, what if there were folks who spent some of their time being with you in that facility? Being on your side? Taking your side? Or just spending some time with you without messing with your body or telling you what you “need” to do? What if that?

Well, there are — and there have been, for a quite a while. They are the good folks who volunteer for the Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program, going into facilities all over western Washington to be on your side.

These are good and decent people who have had to apply, have their backgrounds checked, go through several days of serious training, do monthly reports, go to monthly meetings and don’t get paid — yet they proceed to give away significant chunks of their lives for you. Sound fun?

I didn’t think so.

So, for a bad time, call Amber Garrotte at 360-538-8877 or 800-801-0060, and tell her that human beings matter enough to you that you’re willing to be a human being. Amber runs this Ombudsman program in Grays Harbor and Pacific counties, and she’s looking for some more help to make sure that a lot of those things a lot of us are afraid of don’t happen.

If you take a minute to visualize being in a facility, and something is “wrong,” it won’t take long for you to figure out that it could get pretty scary pretty quick. And if you can keep your eyes closed for another minute, and visualize yourself walking into that room and being with that person for no reason other than to say “hello,” or solve a problem, or advocate, or “be on their side,” you’ll get the drift.

… And you’ll probably be able to figure out what’s in this for you. If you can’t, you’re probably not who I’m looking for, anyway.

So, yes: I’m asking you to call Amber, fill out paperwork, get interviewed, have your background checked, go through some pretty serious training, blah blah blah, and then give away a piece of your life on a regular basis and get absolutely nothing back for it — except what you visualize when you say to yourself, “There, but for the grace of God…”

Don’t think about this long enough to talk yourself out of it. Of course you don’t have time! But you also don’t have time not to.

It’s the best “bad time” you’ll ever have.

Mark Harvey is the director of information and assistance for the Olympic Area Agency on Aging. He can be reached by email at harvemb@dshs.wa.gov; by phone at 360-532-0520 in Aberdeen, 360-942-2177 in Raymond, or 360-642-3634; or through Facebook at Olympic Area Agency on Aging-Information & Assistance.