Dear Abby: I’m watching the slow-motion destruction of a childhood friend on Facebook. There is substance abuse, infidelity, divorce, the whole lot. It hurts.
He recently admitted that he has struggled with depression for years, but insists he isn’t interested in seeing a doctor or a counselor. It sounds like he’s been burned in the past. I know I can’t do anything until he asks for help, but I intend to be there when he does. What resources are available for someone who is clinically depressed and self-medicating?
Trying to Help in the West
Dear Trying: Support groups for people who are depressed and/or have emotional issues exist. But to join one, the person must admit there is a problem and help is needed. Because your friend is resistant to the idea of professional help, you might suggest a group called Emotions Anonymous. It was started in 1971, and its mission is to help people who are experiencing emotional difficulties. It offers chat, Skype and phone meetings as well as in-person groups. If you would like more information, you can find it at emotionsanonymous.org.
Dear Abby: I have been dating this woman for a few years. We aren’t in a committed relationship, but she wants me exclusively to herself. She’s a very jealous type, and a comment she made took me over the edge.
She told me that my late wife’s picture should only be displayed in my children’s room, and that I’m still holding onto her, which is preventing me from moving forward with any woman. I will never remove any pictures of my children’s mother out of respect not only for my departed loved one but for my children as well. What do you think of this?
Respectful in Texas
Dear Respectful: If you keep a photo of your late wife next to your bed, I can see how it might bother someone you have been dating for a few years — particularly if you haven’t made a commitment to her. That said, if displaying a picture of your wife in a public room of your home is so threatening to this woman that she would make the kind of scene you describe, it may be time to replace her with someone who is less easily threatened.
Dear Abby: I have been happily married (for the most part) to my husband of 40 years. He is a good husband, provider and father. Only one thing about him really bothers me. When he is telling someone a story, he frequently “embellishes” it and changes it to something that’s not actually the truth.
What he says doesn’t really matter or hurt anyone, but it still bothers me. It makes me wonder if what he is telling me about something is the correct version or “his” version.
Like I said, it is never anything of importance, so I don’t understand why he even does it. I have asked him about it, and he doesn’t really explain. Do you have any idea what would make a person do this?
Wife in Wonderland
Dear Wife: Some people “embellish” to impress or to make themselves look more important, or because they think it will make the story more entertaining or exciting. Not knowing your husband, I can’t answer for him. It might help to reassure him that you love him just the way he is, and the truth is always better than fiction.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
