Dear Abby: My son was married eight months ago. He and I were close but had problems in the past. His bride left me out of the wedding pictures. It began at the bridal shower, when I noticed she didn’t want me to be in the pictures. Until that point I thought I was close to her. It was very hurtful.
They had planned a destination wedding, which only my brother and I were able to attend from my son’s side of the family. It was a nine-day cruise to the Bahamas. At the wedding dinner, I was not seated with my son. Her parents were seated at the table along with friends of her parents. I was very upset and left the dinner.
The next day, I told my son I was upset when I found I was excluded from his table. He said I had overreacted and to get over it. The rest of the cruise was just a blur for me. I didn’t enjoy myself, nor was I included in any plans the group had made. I was told later that because I had overreacted, my son didn’t want to accommodate me in any way. This has put a strain on our relationship.
They are now expecting a child, and I’m told if I want to be a part of my grandbaby’s life, I must apologize to my daughter-in-law and her family. What would you do?
Peeved on the East Coast
Dear Peeved: If I wanted to be a part of my grandbaby’s life, I would apologize, although I can understand why you would have been upset that you and your brother were excluded from the head table during the first dinner.
However, if I didn’t want to be blackmailed, I would keep my mouth shut and go my own way, spending time only with people who treat me with kindness and respect — neither of which it appears you received on that nightmare cruise.
Dear Abby: I am in high school, and there’s a boy I see for at least an hour every day. About six months ago, I developed feelings for him. I’ve had crushes before, but nothing like this. It is all-consuming. I never thought I would feel this way until I met him. However, he has a girlfriend who seems to like him a lot, and the feeling is obviously mutual.
Now, let’s be clear: I am NOT looking to break them up. I see they are very happy together, and I would never try to get in the way of that. I just feel trapped. I have tried not being around him. I tried switching classes. Nothing works. I just want to know how to move on from him.
Helpless in High School
Dear Helpless: It might help to focus on the fact that spring is here, the school year will be over very soon and you may not be exposed to this boy on a daily basis in the fall. In the meantime, stay busy. Concentrate on your studies, sports and social activities. The more people you meet, the greater the chances you will find someone who is equally attractive and UNATTACHED.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
