By George Haerle

For Grays Harbor News Group

This is one of those reviews where I sort of have to talk about not only the movie, but the experience itself and the film’s effect (or lack thereof) on the audience around me. “Dumbo” is perhaps one of the few experiences where I understand the audience’s short attention span — and why the children in the back row were treating the theater as a playground.

Normally I am frustrated by audiences who lack any kind of theater etiquette. But when a movie is this dull and hollow, it becomes a clear result of totally lazy filmmaking. Tim Burton — the once great director of classics such as “Big Fish,” “Edward Scissorhands” and “Batman” — has truly lost his way here, as nothing about “Dumbo” except for a couple of visual cues resembles anything of his signature style or former heart.

From start to finish, “Dumbo” present all sorts of plot threads and characters, but never lingers on anything long enough to develop a single subplot into anything to care about. The core of the film follows Colin Farrell’s character and his relationship with his children after coming home from World War I; Dumbo and his eventual separation from his mother is relegated to a side plot rather than being the heart and soul of the film.

Burton opts to run through every “unique lost animal” movie trope in the book rather than build any kind of story or heartfelt moment with the movie’s own title character, and it’s almost infuriating.

Disney has already exhibited they can make incredibly realistic animals with the recent rendition of “The Jungle Book” and in the previews for the upcoming “Lion King” remake. But Dumbo does not look great here. He’s super fake looking — just this sort of clumsy little lump who flops around for half the movie. He’s relegated to a one-trick pony not only in the circus, but in the film as well, as all all we see of him are his ability to try to look cute and fly around in circles.

The cast would be great here if the writing weren’t so lackluster. Colin Farrell is the only real bright spot in the film. Danny DeVito and Michael Keaton do the best they can with what they are given, but the script is so mediocre and flat in terms of dialogue and storytelling, the actors are clearly affected by it. Eva Green, normally a fantastic addition to any film she’s in, is totally misused here with a pointless character who could have been written out altogether.

Not all of the blame can be placed on Burton, even if the quality of his filmmaking has been going downhill for several years. An even bigger travesty is the bland script by Ehren Kruger. Considering he wrote three “Transformers” movies (though not “Bumblebee”), “Reindeer Games” and “The Ring” series, he’s written and produced more stinkers than Burton ever has.

Here, Kruger has added way too much fluff to a story that worked originally because it was so simple and sweet. The film also suffers from never fully fleshing out any character or plot thread.

I’ve enjoyed many of Disney’s live-action representations of their animated classics; “Cinderella” and “Beauty and the Beast” are solid entertainment, while “The Jungle Book” was a blast. But “Dumbo” is the first one I’ve seen that is a complete failure, especially given that the original had so much more heart and actual tear jerking moments. “Dumbo” cannot be recommended. Even the performances of the few actors who care can’t save it from heartless direction and a lazy script.

Save your money for “Shazam!” or “Pet Sematary” coming up.

* * *

“Dumbo” is currently playing at the Riverside Cinemas, 1017 S. Boone St. in Aberdeen.

George Haerle holds a bachelor’s degree in creative writing for media and lives in Cosmopolis.