By George Haerle
For Grays Harbor News Group
It’s getting exhausting being a Star Wars fan — avoiding spoilers, avoiding internet toxicity, wondering if the next film will either be a load of fun or a complete disappointment. And don’t get me started on the merchandise.
With the arrival of “Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker,” touted by Disney as the last episode in the Skywalker saga, it’s suitable for it to be over — hopefully finally.
This isn’t a good movie in a traditional sense. It’s going to be divisive within the large community of fans, and it has some starship-sized problems.
“The Last Jedi” caused massive outrage among fans who hated it mostly for a story that challenged their expectations and tried to do something different. It had a few problems, like almost every “Star Wars” movie for sure, but it had story structure and it advanced the characters. It also had a plot you could follow, and it allowed plenty of breathing room for its plot and characters to develop properly.
In contrast, “Skywalker” is a Frankenstein’s monster of a movie — a hundred scenes of pure fan service stitched together (and what at times feels like fan-written fiction) that isn’t very coherent. It’s as if director JJ Abrams had taken a few pages from Michael Bay’s directing book from action movies, which is no compliment.
Originally a three-hour film that has been cut down to two and a half, “Skywalker” is a never-ending lightspeed jump from planet to planet, from McGuffin to McGuffin. Moving at breakneck speed, it jumps from scene to scene without any breathers, nor does the plot feel organic at all. It’s jarring to have new and old characters pop up out of nowhere, most of whom add nothing to the plot — aside from one excellent cameo toward the end.
You might forget about 70% of this film after walking out of the theater, as it spends most of its time undoing events that occurred in “The Last Jedi” rather than building upon them. And the finale is an absolute mess of CGI, with probably one of the most lackluster space and lightsaber battles in the entire series.
Still, I’ve learned even in my jaded adulthood that Star Wars is like pizza: Even when it’s not very good, it’s still sort of satisfying. There are several great, shining scenes and details here and there.
John Williams’ score is excellent as always, and Adam Driver (Kylo Ren) and Daisy Ridley (Rey) once again give 100% to their roles. Their dynamic central plot is the only thing memorable about this whole shenanigan — maybe even this entire sequel trilogy.
A director’s cut would help this chapter incredibly, but at the same time we need to stop holding these films up to the golden standard of “The Empire Strikes Back.” When was the last time you watched “A New Hope” or “Return of the Jedi”? Both are classic and lovable and loads of fun, but in terms of script and cheese factor, it isn’t the cinematic equivalent to a religious text that some people have turned it into — and I’ve been a devoted fan my whole life.
And we might all agree, whether you love or hate Disney’s sequel trilogy or Lucas’ prequel trilogy, or enjoy all of the Star Wars universe: “Rogue One” has aged incredibly well and is still awesome, and “The Mandalorian” is the best thing to come out of the franchise in a very long time.
Merry Christmas, and may the Force be with you.
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“Star Wars: Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker” is currently playing at the Riverside Cinemas, 1017 S. Boone St. in Aberdeen.
George Haerle holds a bachelor’s degree in creative writing for media and lives in Cosmopolis.
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures/Lucasfilm Limited Rey (Daisy Ridley) returns for another battle with Kylo Ren in “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.”
