By George Haerle
For The Daily World
There are two kinds of shark movies: “Jaws,” and (good) bad shark movies. “The Meg” is the latter.
Let’s be honest here: Has there ever been a shark movie, aside from “Jaws,” that is equal parts horror, plot, fun, excellent script and well-developed characters you don’t want to see eaten? Well, “The Meg” isn’t one of those, but it’s definitely a great bad shark movie.
“Deep Blue Sea” (which will be 20 years old next year), is probably the best B-grade shark movie ever made, with a laughably terrible script and a hilarious death scene in the form of a Mako shark practically body-slamming itself to horrifically devour Samuel L. Jackson’s character. “The Shallows” wasn’t bad per se, but let’s be honest: Half of that movie was a swimsuit photo shoot with Blake Lively. In “47 Meters Down,” we have a dozen or so great thrills and unintentional laughs, with an ending so mean-spirited you have to see it to believe it.
“The Meg” will fit right on your movie shelf with these and other B-grade shark flicks. It’s over-the-top, it never takes itself too seriously and the characters are all practically pulled from comic books. You get to see Jason Statham take on a 90-foot shark with (almost) his bare hands!
The 1997 book “Meg: A Novel of Deep Terror,” by Steve Alten, was optioned to be a movie shortly after publication, but it then sat in what the industry calls “development hell” for almost two decades before it was finally given the green light in 2016.
If you haven’t already, read the novel. It’s as fun and pulpy and ridiculous as you would think, but with significantly more giant shark carnage and a great opening scene involving a Tyrannosaurus rex that the filmmakers should have included.
“The Meg” isn’t the kind of movie that should be really critically dissected, because it wasn’t made to be cinema verite. The studio’s choice for director was perfect: popcorn movie pro Jon Turtletaub, whose greatest gift to the world was the immensely fun “National Treasure” (or “Nicolas Cage Saves America, Part I”).
Statham gets to do what he does best: look ripped, have the coolest British accent of all time, kick butt and save everybody. Chinese star Li Bingbing plays the romantic co-lead, and her complete lack of onscreen chemistry with Statham is so awful that it kind of just makes you chuckle and shrug.
“The Office” alumnus Rainn Wilson gladly chews the scenery as a zany billionaire. Ruby Rose gets to do what she does best by looking sexy with a cool haircut and spouting some scientific stuff.
One of the more fun characters is DJ, played by Page Kennedy of “Blue Mountain State” fame. He gets a few of the good chuckles throughout.
And then there’s the shark and all of the carnage that comes with it. Some made-up scientific mumbo jumbo is painted over a fun setup for the appearance of the long-extinct Megalodon: A weird frosty layer of whatever apparently covers what we think is the deepest part of the ocean floor, and underneath this layer is a primordial undersea lost world.
Through a chain of events, this gargantuan beast (which they call a Meg for short) emerges from the abyss to wreak havoc upon anything it can fit into its mouth — boats, people, shark cages, whales, more people, submarines, giant squids and more people. You’ll get what you came to see in spades.
With kudos to the movie’s marketing department, if you saw any of the previews for “The Meg,” what you see is exactly what you’re going to get — and it’s pretty enjoyable overall.
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“The Meg” is currently playing at the Riverside Cinemas, 1017 S. Boone St. in Aberdeen.
George Haerle holds a bachelor’s degree in creative writing for media and lives in Cosmopolis.
